Remember our hideous closet that someone covered with
granny shabby chic flowery wallpaper?
I marched into the closet early on Saturday morning, determined to deflower all 3 walls by lunchtime. Here were my weapons of choice:
L to R: scraper, spray bottle, fabric softener.
I saw some remodeling show on HGTV where the designer said that her favorite way of removing wallpaper is hosing it with a mixture of hot water and fabric softener, letting it soak for a few minutes, then peeling up the paper. Her wallpaper came off in big strips, easy peasy. She didn’t break out in hives or throw a crying fit like so many of my friends who shared their wallpaper horror stories. I was sold.
I went into the closet and doused all 3 walls with the fabric softener / hot water mixture. I went down to the kitchen to slam a cup of coffee and stomped back upstairs, ready to annihilate some wallpaper. That stuff was coming down in big strips.
Only that’s not how it worked out. Even though I had sprayed the walls really well and let them soak for 10 minutes, the edges of the wallpaper weren’t coming up. I ended up using my scraper to peel underneath:
Then I basically had to scrape up and down until little shreds of paper tore off and fell to the ground. I’m not sure what they used to glue that stuff to the walls — Gorilla glue? Super glue? Pixie magic?! — but it wasn’t coming off at all, let alone in the big strips I had hoped for.
I worked for a solid 15 minutes. I broke out into a sweat, I bit back tears, I threw every curse word I know at that wall and then invented new curse words so I could keep on going. But the wallpaper wasn’t coming off. At. All. No matter how hard I scraped or how much I sprayed the wall.
That’s the moment when Bradley came in and asked, “What are you doing? We’re demolishing those walls. You don’t need to take the wallpaper off.”
What we learned from our attempt at deflowering our wall:
- HGTV lies.
- Communication is very, very important.
- Sometimes the best way to take down wallpaper is to tear down the entire wall.